Relationship Institute Australasia

Counselling and
Professional Training

Staying connected in the Holiday season - By John Flanagan - Certified Gottman Therapist & Trainer

7 December 2018 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops / Bringing Baby Home

The holiday season can be a wonderful opportunity to take time out from the stressors of daily life, the pressures of work, the never-ending list of tasks and duties and to connect with your partner, children, family and friends. The holiday season is much anticipated and highly valued by many. It is the end of one year and beginning of another. A time for reflection on the past, a time for planning for the future and importantly a time to be present with the important people in your world. The holiday season can often be rich with rituals that bring people together, sharing experiences, traditions and connections.

It is also true that the holiday season can be a very difficult time where relationships can become strained and disconnected, where expectations and ideals are not discussed or shared, where miscommunication and tension can arise.

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Building Love Maps - How well do you know your partner?  By Registered Psychologist Brhea Ind

31 October 2018 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops / Bringing Baby Home

What is your partners favourite song? Favourite Ice Cream flavour, flower, sports team, movie, holiday destination, their favourite memory in your relationship, their birthday, anniversaries?

Do you know these answers about your partner in the present moment?

John and Julie Gottman call this Building Love Maps.

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The 10 minute conversation that could save your relationship by Kylie-Jo Elliott. BBH Educator

10 October 2018 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops / Bringing Baby Home

Just because you have had a baby, doesn’t mean that the universe will give you a break and put a hold on all of the external stresses that happen as a part of everyday life! In fact, all of the same challenges are still there once you become parents, but once you have a baby, your conversations with one another can tend to become 100% baby focused – and all other issues take a back seat.
So, when stressful situations that happen outside the home are continually not acknowledged or discussed, they can cause a build-up of anxiety, anger and withdrawal amongst couples – even though the situations did not originally involve them AS a couple, the fallout of not talking about them certainly can BECOME a relationship issue!

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When Pain Goes Unprocessed by Trish Purnell-Webb.  Certified Gottman Therapist & Master Trainer

13 September 2018 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops

Most people would agree that heartbreak is the worst kind pain to experience. There is no easy medical intervention that will help. That dull, chronic pain feels like it is with you everywhere you go, and it can hit you like a kick in the guts at seemingly random moments when you are least expecting it. It is often at the core of your thoughts, and typically haunts you right before you go to sleep and the moment you wake up.

The problem is that most people don’t process their emotional pain.

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Understanding the Impact of Harsh Start Ups

12 June 2018 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Gottman Marital Therapy / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops

A harsh startup is when one partner brings up an issue and uses criticism and contempt to get their point across. Using Harsh Startups are one of the indicators of a failing relationship, the more often you use them the more damaging they are and the higher your probability of relationship demise.

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How to survive the baby BOOM! by Kylie Jo Elliott (Bringing Baby Home Educator)

17 May 2018 / Relationship Help / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops / Bringing Baby Home

Many studies have shown that whilst having a baby is often viewed as one to the most joyful events in a couple’s lifetime, the very act of becoming a family can also be the beginning of their relationship unhappiness.

According to Gottman research, a staggering 67% of couples become discontent with each other during the first 3 years of baby’s life, leaving only 33% that remain satisfied during the transition to parenthood and beyond. Exhaustion, hormonal changes, anxiety about baby, a loss of libido and added family pressures are all challenges that can confuse and overwhelm even the strongest of relationships. So here are 5 simple tips to help every new parent stay connected as a couple, instead of just becoming a ‘couple of parents’

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Do you feel like your arguments come out of nowhere?

24 April 2018 / Relationship Help / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops

Do you feel like your arguments come out of nowhere?

And sometimes you can’t remember what you were fighting about - but it gets nasty and hurtful!

Communication break-down happens when you allow the four horsemen - criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling to enter your relationship.

DR John Gottman found through his research - these four things were the most reliable predictors a divorce was inevitable.

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Creating Everyday Rituals that are meaningful for you and your family

20 October 2017 / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops

I recently asked my 3 grown-up children what they enjoyed most when they were growing up. Son No 1 said “I really liked how we would have those family days on the weekend. We always did fun stuff together.”

Son No 2 said, “I always liked the times we sat around the dinner table and just talked about all sorts of things. In fact I still really enjoy that.”

Baby Daughter said, “I have always loved our family vacations. It’s always so exciting to go somewhere new together. I like the excitement of knowing we are going and then talking about it for months and planning how we are going to have fun together. Those vacations felt like the lasted for months because of how much we talked about it before we went.”

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The Positive Perspective in Relationships

28 July 2017 / Relationship Help / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops

The first three levels of the Sound Relationship House – Build Love Maps, Share Fondness and Admiration, and Turn Towards Instead of Away – serve as the foundation for The Positive Perspective. These levels form the strong foundation on which your Sound Relationship can flourish.

One of my clients isn’t so sure.

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What is a Marriage Sabbatical and is it for You?

28 April 2017 / Relationship Help / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops

The term ‘Marriage Sabbatical’ was first coined by Cheryl Jarvis in her book The Marriage Sabbatical. The idea is that individuals in long term relationships be able to support each other to take time away from their daily routines to nurture their own creative, intellectual, or spiritual strengths in order to become fully expressed human beings.

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