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Are you Connecting? By Gottman Master Trainer John Flanagan
28 November 2022 /
Choice Points
There are many choice points in your relationship where you can decide to turn towards your partner and acknowledge and engage in their world, or you can absently ignore or dismiss the attempted connecting gestures from your partner.
Managing Contempt in Couples Therapy - By Gottman Master Trainer and Clinical Psychologist Trish Purnell-Webb
4 November 2022 /
One of the most difficult emotions to deal with in couple therapy is contempt. Feelings of superiority, self-righteousness, and a lack of empathy can quickly escalate conflict and lead to gridlock. It can be expressed as sarcasm, put downs, sneering, eye-rolling and of course swearing, name-calling and yelling.
If you suspect that contempt is an issue in a couple's relationship, there are a few things you can do to help them manage it. First, help them to understand what contempt is and why it's so harmful to their relationship. Dr John Gottman demonstrated in seven different studies that he could predict with 93% accuracy which couples would be separated within three years just based on the amount of contempt present during a 10 minute conflict conversation.
What you can expect when you go to Gottman Relationship Therapy? By Gottman Master Trainer John Flanagan
23 September 2022 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Gottman Marital Therapy
Gottman Relationship Therapy has grown in popularity over the last 40 years, internationally and now here in Australia - and there are very good reasons for this. It is one of, if not the most, research-based methodology for couple’s therapy.
Gottman Therapy involves personalising the principles from the Sound Relationship House Theory to each couple’s unique interaction patterns, issues and challenges.
Assessment-Understanding your unique couple story
Gottman Therapy has a strong focus on assessing and understanding the presenting and underlying issues that couples bring to therapy. Gottman Therapists ensure a thorough assessment is completed to gain a clear understanding of the couple’s history, strengths, weaknesses and treatment goals.
To Zoom or Not to Zoom - That is the Question
26 July 2022 /
Ok ... so I need to put my hand up and admit at the beginning of the pandemic I was sceptical about online training and the quality of the experience for both the participants and trainers. I thought that it would be very difficult and sub optimal to teach relationship therapy when people are not actually in the room with you. I wondered what would happen to the connection, interaction and engagement that is so important and required to ensure an excellent learning environment. I had so many questions about the possible impact on the quality of our training program when converting to an online platform. Nevertheless, the pandemic required all of us to adapt, pivot and change—so we did . We moved our training from face to face to an online platform.
View article‘Process Focussed Approach to Couple Therapy’ What is it and how do you get it?
2 June 2022 /
Over years of training relationship therapy in Australia and internationally, we have listened to many therapists’ questions centring on how to better understand the multiple and complex levels of processes involved from the beginning to the end of therapy; questions on how to support a couple to have deeper, more authentic, and real conversations to heal their relationships; and questions about how therapy can ultimately lead a couple to emotionally corrective experiences that create understanding, healing and change.
To explore these questions and more, RIA are pleased to announce our new two day training program, ‘Process Focussed Approach to Couple Therapy’. This training will unpack the deep process orientation of relationship therapy from the initial contact through to the follow up and relapse prevention phases.
Why train in couples therapy with Relationship Institute Australasia
12 April 2022 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy
RIA is Australia’s lead agency that offers Certified Gottman Methods Couple Therapy training for professionals. We have delivered over 90 Gottman Training programs and trained over 1500 professionals in Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, and the USA. RIA begins and finishes your Gottman professional development journey offering all three levels of Gottman training, professional supervision, and consultation to become a Certified Gottman Therapist.
Currently across the world, there are 26 Master Trainers and Consultants in Gottman Therapy. This group has honed their craft over many years and lead Gottman training across all levels. Fortunately, in Australia RIA has the two Master Trainers and Consultants, John Flanagan and Trish Purnell-Webb.
Easter 2022 - By John Flanagan AMHSW Certified Gottman Therapist, Master Trainer & Consultant
11 April 2022 / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy
Is it too early to start hoping that we are finally coming out of two years of mask wearing, lock downs, isolation, limited travel, and holidays? The pandemic came with a high toll for individuals, relationships, families, and communities across this country. All this compounded by recent devastating flooding with many communities declared disaster zones has certainly added to a growing experience of feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious, stretching our reserves of resilience. Below we share three sensible and practical activities to use during your Easter break to restore resilience in your relationship when both of you are feeling fatigued or depleted.
Activity 1: Be on each other’s team
The Stress Reducing Conversation is a wonderful way to turn towards your partner ...
How to choose your Gottman Therapist? By John Flanagan AMHSW Certified Gottman Therapist, Master Trainer & Consultant
28 February 2022 / Relationship Help / Gottman Marital Therapy
Gottman Relationship Therapy has grown in popularity over the last 40 years, internationally and now here in Australia - and there are very good reasons for this.
It is one of, if not the most, research-based methodology for couple’s therapy. It is well credentialed with studies using randomized clinical trials being published in the Journal of Family Therapy and the Journal of Family Psychology endorsing the effectiveness of the Gottman method.
More and more couples are looking towards this approach to help them with their relationship struggles, but how does one know the level of Gottman expertise and training their relationship therapist has?
There is a world of difference between a therapist using some Gottman techniques and having a rudimentary understanding of Gottman theory and practice - compared to specifically being taught through the different levels of Gottman training and the journey in becoming an endorsed Certified Gottman Therapist.
So here are three questions (and their answers) to ask your potential relationship therapist about their expertise in Gottman Therapy.
Working with Individual Clients presenting with Couple Problems. By Trish Purnell-Webb - Clinical Psychologist, Certified Gottman Therapist, Master Trainer & Consultant
3 February 2022 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia
When couples are dissatisfied in their relationship, couple therapy has become one of the most widely practiced interventions. The effectiveness of couple therapy has been demonstrated by several studies (Shadish Baldwin, 2003). and in systematic reviews. Lebow, Chambers, Christensen, and Johnson (2012) summarized research findings indicating that evidence based couple therapy improves relationship satisfaction for 71% of participating couples at the end of treatment.
While couple therapy has shown to be significantly more effective than individual therapy in addressing relationship distress (Barbato & Avanzo, 2008), many people who seek help for couple-related issues are treated in individual therapy.
There are several reasons for this. For example:
• One partner is reluctant to attend;
• One partner may be reluctant to invite the other partner;
• Therapists might recommend individual treatment if one partner demonstrates clinical issues such as substance abuse, depression, trauma, etc;
• Individual therapy may be the only format of therapy offered by the service provider (organisational EAP programs, or therapist is not trained in couple therapy)
The current research raises three major concerns about treating couple problems in individual therapy (Gurman & Burton,2014): ...
Begin 2022 with little Decisions - By John Flanagan AMHSW Certified Gottman Therapist, Master Trainer & Consultant
4 January 2022 / For therapists / Relationship Help / Relationship Institute Australasia / Gottman Marital Therapy / Art & Science of Love Couples Workshops
The iconic Australian songwriter Paul Kelly wrote,
“Little decisions are the kind I can make, Big resolutions are so easy to break”.
The waters are yet to calm on the COVID 19 landscape; certainty and predictability still remain fragile commodities. As we enter 2022, it is the little decisions we can make that can provide more stability and direction for our future.
As you know the John Gottman mantra of ‘small things often’ is more important than ever as we contend with looking after our relationships, families, work and ourselves. Did you know that if the navigation calculations and trajectory were out by only .1 degree for the Apollo mission to the moon, the spacecraft would have missed the moon by 6709 km. Over time, little things become significant. Importantly this is true for both positive and negative acts.
So here are 5 practical ways to create small change across time in your relationship.